A Vigorous Beat Down Builds Character in Black People

In my ongoing and foolish attempt to keep you Kneegroes informed, I came across the following rules to help you keep from going to jail, getting tased or participating in a plain old fashioned beat down wherein the officer piously strikes you around the head and shoulders when you are stopped and feel the need to talk back to him or her, whatever the case may be.

Now I know a lot of you already know the rules for Driving While Black and it would seem that a lot of you have forgotten and then there are those of you who still insist on thinking that somehow you've woken up in a parallel universe where everyone is equal.

Please discuss this with your children. It might save their lives. So let's just jump right in. The words in red are my comments.

1. When confronting an officer during a traffic stop, exhibiting anger or frustration at the onset of the encounter can change the outcome dramatically. Remain calm, keep your hands on the wheel and do not reach for your license or insurance papers until directed to. Most importantly, be respectful and do not challenge the officer’s authority directly – that’s what the courtroom is for. (Also turn off your car, take the keys out of the ignition and put them on the dash)

   Chino Hardin, an organizer with the Institute for Juvenile Justice Reform and Alternatives, recommended making mental notes of the officer’s words, and getting their name if possible. This information will be invaluable to your defense should you end up under arrest. Hardin also said that department heads will absolutely read formal complaints against their officers, (And ignore them) which can often be filed over the Internet. Follow up if you feel your rights have been trampled upon. If an officer has enough complaints registered against him or her, it creates a public record of bad behavior that can be used by lawyers to trigger settlements or pressure management to fire an officer, if necessary. (That's a lie)

   Pro tip: If it’s night, turn on your vehicle’s interior light to provide the officer with an additional sense of security, and make no movements without first telling the officer what you are reaching for and where it is. (Good idea. It might keep you from getting shot about 14 times. It's YOUR duty to make the officer feel all warm and cozy)

2. Keep quiet and assert your rights (Huh???)

   The U.S. Constitution (sic) gives every citizen the right to remain silent, even under police questioning. Whether you’re under arrest or not, you do not have to answer police questions, and you are always entitled to a lawyer. Since police can legally lie in order to use a suspect’s words against them, silence is always the best option. Simply inform the officer in a respectful manner that you wish to remain silent and would like to speak with an attorney. You should also politely ask if the officer is detaining you or if you are free to leave. (Now you've just gone and pissed him/her off)

   “You have to own these things,” Hardin explained. “You can’t just [be meek] about it. Police do know when you start asserting your rights. What you want to say is, ‘Am I being detained, or am I free to go?’ Once they say you’re being detained, which means you’re not free to go, then they must have reasonable suspicion to detain you. At that point you can say, ‘What is the reasonable suspicion that you have to detain me?’ Then they will have to articulate it.” (You are asking too many questions, which he/she perceives as a threat to his/her authority. The shit is now officially ON)

   Pro tip: Neill Franklin, the executive director of Law Enforcement Against Prohibition and a former undercover officer in Maryland, told the audience to always be aware of their surroundings during a police stop. If there are any witnesses to the encounter and you do not get arrested, try to reach out to them to discuss the incident immediately after it is over. (Good luck with that.) This is especially important if you plan on filing a formal complaint, as witness corroboration can substantially strengthen your claim.

3. Never consent to searches.

   Thanks to the nation’s drug policies, invasive searches for contraband substances or firearms are commonplace – but this is also where most people get tripped up. While you cannot tell an officer that you won’t let them search your vehicle or your person, you can say you do not consent, which triggers important constitutional protections under the Fourth Amendment. They may still execute the search, but even if they find contraband or weapons, a lawyer has a better chance at getting the case dropped if you did not give permission.

   “The only way to come out ahead is to say, ‘I don’t consent to a search,’” explained Ronald Hampton, former director of the National Black Police Association and a 24-year veteran of the Washington, D.C. metro police. “You have to say that. If you don’t, you’re not protected. If you don’t say that, [your lawyer] can’t represent you. The minute you say that, you’ve set the stage for the legal battle in court. (Or an ass whooping) You can’t argue with them on the street. They can be wrong and you can be right, but you can still get hurt.” (I just said that.)

   Pro tip: If an officer asks you to empty your pockets, respectfully decline and reiterate that you do not consent to any search. Emptying your pockets is the same as saying you consent. (Also, if you do and you do spill out a pharmaceutical store or the equivalent of a couple acres of marijuana, the officer can get you for having drugs in plain sight. Remember this one). The officer may still reach into your pockets if they claim to have felt something that may be a weapon, but by refusing you retain constitutional protections later on in court.

Ok. That's it. These rules apply mostly to white people, I think, although they say they work across the board. How little they know. I discovered late in life that it depends on who stops you. The phrase above in number 2 says," Police do know when you start asserting your rights". They also know that you haven't done anything when they stop you because they've already run a check on your plates and you know it too because you've glanced in the rearview mirror to watch them fooling with the computer. So your shit is already in the wind as soon as the lights go on and the siren gives you a couple of whoop whoops. It can only go down hill from there. And Lawd help yo black ass if you pull out your cell phone. In your hand. With the camera function on.

I do believe whole heartily that you should not agree to a search whether in your auto OR at home and don't let that old "nothing to hide" line fool you. Ignore it. It's a lie. Police lie. It's their job to lie. They are on the job. And by the way, if a policeman knocks on your door, DO NOT LET HIM/HER in. When you do, you're granting consent and consent is a VERY important word

I'm headed back up the Hill now. Ignore this post at your own risk. If you've read this and still believe the police have your best interest at heart, then you're on your own. But whatever you believe, keep one thing in mind. WHO is stopping me.