The Signifying Monkey

Here's a little somethin' somethin' for you kneegroes. Old skool, hard core black people will remember this. The rest of you- not so much. It's just a break from all the bullshit that might be going down in your lives. I broke it up into paragraphs to make a better read.

"Way, way down in the jungle deep The badass lion stepped on the signifying monkey's feet. The monkey said, "Motherfucka, can't you see? You're standing on my god damn feet!"

The lion said, "I ain't heard a word you said." Said, "If you say three more I'll be steppin on yo muthafuckin head!"

Now, the monkey lived in the jungle in an old oak tree Bullshittin' a line every day of the week. Everyday before the sun go down, That lion would kick his ass all through the jungle town. But the monkey got wise and started using his wit, Start telling "I'm gonna put a stop to this old ass kickin shit." So he ran up on the lion the very next day He said, "Oh, Mr. Lion. There's a big, bad motherfucka coming your way. And he's somebody that you don't know. He just broke aloose from the Ringling Brother's Show." Said, "He talked about your people in a hell of a way. He talked about your people til my hair turned gray. He said your daddy's a freak and your momma's a whore. Said he spotted you running through the jungle sellin asshole from door to door!

Said your sister did the damndest trick. She got down so low and sucked a earthworm's dick. Said he spotted yo niece behind the tree, Screwin a muthafuckin flea! He said he saw yo aunt sittin on the fence Givin a goddamn zebra a french. Then he talked about yo mammy and yo sister Lou, Then he start talkin about how good yo grandmaw screw. Said yo sister's a prostitute and yo brother's a punk, And said I'll be damned if you don't eat all the pussy you see when you get drunk!

He said he cornholed your uncle and fucked your aunty and niece, And next time he see yo grandmaw he gonna get him another good piece. Said your brother died with the whoopin cough and your uncle died with the measles And your old grandpaw died with a rag chunked up in his ass, said he's goin on home to Jesus. And you know yo little sister that ya love so dear I fucked her all day for a bottle of beer.

So, Mr. Lion, you know that ain't right. So wherever you run up on the elephant, I want you to be ready to fight."

The lion jumped up in a hell of a rage Like a young man smoking some gage. He ran up on the elephant talking to the swine. He said, "All right, you big, bad motherfucka, It's gonna be your ass or mine."

The lion jumped up and made a fancy pass, But the elephant side-stepped him and knocked him dead on his ass. He fucked up his jaw, messed up his face, Broke all four legs and knocked his ass out of place. They fought all night and all the next day. Somehow the little lion managed to get away. He drug his ass back to the jungle more dead than alive, Just to run into the monkey and more of his signifying jive. The little monkey said, "Look here, partner, you don't look so swell. Looks to me like you caught a whole lot of hell." Said, "Your eyes is red and your ass is blue. I knew in the first place it wasn't shit to you. But I told my wife before you left 'I should have whipped your ass my motherfucking self.' Shut up! Don't you roar! 'Cause I'll jump out of this tree and whip your dog ass some more. And don't look up here with your stuck 'ol case Because I'll piss through the fork of this tree in your motherfuckin' face!"

The little monkey got happy; started jumping up and down His feet missed the limb, and his ass hit the ground. Like a ball of lightning and a streak of white heat, That lion was on his ass with all four feet. Thus, rolls of tears came in the little monkey's eyes, Nothing he could see and nothing he could hear But he knew that was the end of his bullshittin' and signifying career And SIGNIFYING CAREER!!!!"

For the benefit of you Kneegroes who are unfamiliar with the Signifying Monkey tale and its function in African American folk lore, a little background is in order. The rest of you black people, I know, forgot all about this. This is also part of your history that you're supposed to forget

The Signifying Monkey is a character of African-American folklore that derives from the trickster figure of Yoruba mythology, Esu Elegbara. This character was transported with Africans to the Americas under the names of Exu, Echu-Elegua, Papa Legba, and Papa Le Bas (voo doo). Esu and his variants all serve as messengers who mediated between the gods and men by means of tricks.The Signifying Monkey is “distinctly Afro-American” and is thought to derive from Cuban mythology, which depicts Echu-Elegua with a monkey at his side.

How you Black women doin'? Just a fool's question. Don't get mad now.(grin)

At Play in the Fields of the Lord

When I started this blog awhile back, I wanted to do something different. There are a lot of blogs in the blogosphere that concentrate on politics and they do it quite well but, I didn't feel the need to add another one. Besides, these political blogs are brutal places to hang out. Field negro comes to mind when writing this. This man must be one of the most level headed and calmest individual on the Internet. Nothing fazes him.

Anyway, like I said, I wanted to do something different, but the mind is a funny thing. If you've read some of the stuff I write about, it would seem that I'm stuck in "slavey time". It didn't start out that way, but in my opinion, I think that a majority of our problems can be traced back to that period in time and all the way up through the fifties and into the early sixties, which is just forty some years ago. We didn't get our groove on until the middle and late sixties. But something went horribly wrong. Some one put a couple of sticks of dynamite under that bridge we were crossing and blew it the hell up. A lot of our leaders at the time fell by the wayside or were just outright killed.

Because the MSM told us so, we believed that we had arrived. Kinda like today with a black man in the White House. The MSM felt the need to invent the phrase, "Post Racial America" to lull us into thinking, once again, that all was well and would be well, because the people of America had spoken and it was official: racism was dead. All the clouds would fade away and the sky would open up and the Lord himself would come down and bless each and every one of us and "those children got so happy- they just went struttin' right through the fire. Just a laughin' and a talkin' bout the power of the gospel." That was a lie... and thankfully a short lived one, because no matter what you might think of the kids today, they ain't stupid. They are more connected and informed and aware than we ever were and it doesn't take them long to see through the shit that's being shoveled at them.

But I digress. See what I mean? I get side tracked easily. (Sometimes I go away, but then I come back.) I thought very hard for a handle that I could use. Mad Dog2020 came to mind almost immediately. Luckily it was taken or unluckily. It depends on your point of view. But there were a lot of questions on my mind, mostly of a spiritual nature, but just observing the day to day activities of black people and where their priorities lie, sometimes drive my mind in a totally different direction from where I started out. Herman Cain is another name that's popping into my head now. But I refuse to do political commentary.

I will have another post tomorrow. Strangely enough it's a short story about, yep, you guessed it. Slavey Times. Carry me cross that river Jordan. But I also, in my limited way tried to explain the enmity between black men and black women. I thought a story format was the way to go. It's an important subject that black people can't quite seem to wrap their heads around.

I would like to apologize ahead of time if it upsets anyone who reads it, but we need to talk about this stuff to each other. We need to get it out in the open and air it out. This is just my awkward way of doing it. I wanted to know. I still want to know.

Back in the medieval days, the fool was the only person in the court who could say dumb shit to the king and keep his head. Oftimes, when the people took the time to think about what he said, it wasn't all just dumb shit.

I hope I can have the same outcome and keep my head in the bargain.